These characters belong to Janet E. and I received no compensation for this story.
The Crate
Stephanie and Lester sat in the bottom of the crate. Stephanie was hoarse from screaming and Lester was hoarse from begging. They could barely see each other in the faint light leaking between the boards.
“Damn Jackasses,” he said. “Can’t take a joke.”
Suddenly the crate lurched sideways and then swung free of the floor, rising quickly into the air. It lurched again and dropped with a metalic clang. A motor roared and they could tell the crate was now on a truck and it was moving.
Stephanie leaned against the side of the crate. ”Les, do they really send people places in these crates?”
“Afraid so,” he said pulling a bag out from behind him.
“What’s in there?” Steph asked.
“If I could see I’d tell you,” Les said sarcastically.
“Don’t get snippy with me,” Stephanie growled.
“Oh, so you’re already getting an attitude.”
“Look who’s talking, Mr. Attitude himself.” She snapped
“At least mine is better than yours.” Les croaked.
“Is not.”
“Is too.”
“Is certainly not.” Steph yelled indignantly.
“Hah, do you think that changes anything?” Les laughed.
“What?” Stephanie glared at him even though she could barely see him.
“It sounds like the three stooges.”
“Well, you would know.” She chuckled trying to see his face.
“What do you mean by that?”
“So which one are you?” she asked. “Moe, Larry or Curly Joe.”
“Well, when I was a kid my mom would put at bowl on my head and cut my hair. Maybe I looked a little like Moe.”
“I was Curly Joe,” Steph said tugging at her hair.
“You still are.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“A blind man could see what I’m talking about.” Les shouted.
“It’s dark in here.” Steph said. “I can’t see anything!”
“Ouch! You’re really Captain Obvious.” Les said, as he dug around in the bag and pulled out two head bands with lights attached. He handed one to Stephanie.
She turned it on and yelled “Good grief!”, as she blinded herself.
“Bet you were a lousy girl scout.” Les said as he grabbed it away from her and shoved it on her head.
Stephanie frowned. “I bet I was a better girl scout than you were a boy scout.”
“You win that bet, I was never a boy scout.” He laughed. “Ric and I got kicked out of the boy scouts.”
“Why.”
“Cause we were always fighting and beating up on each other.”
Stephanie laughed. “So you two got in trouble a lot?”
“There was a whole lot of stuff we did growing up, that we got in trouble for.”
“What was Ric like back then?” Steph asked.
“He liked to read, a lot. He thought, a lot. Sometimes the rest of us kids would make fun of him cause we would be talking, and he would be off thinking somewhere. My mom said he had to think twice as much to get us out of trouble, because I never did.”
“So why do you do that?”
“What?” Les snapped.
“Act before you think.” Stephanie said.
“Damn, if I had a mirror, I would shove it in your face.”
“I don’t do that.” She growled. “I always think first.”
“Yes, but the way you think is so convoluted, you might as well not even do it, because you still do the same thing you would have, if you didn’t think, it just takes longer.”
“What?” she said, slapping his arm.
Les dug around in the bag some more. He pulled out a deck of cards.
“Want to play cards?” He asked, “Now we got some lights.”
“I don’t want to play with you.”
“Tough shit, I’m the only one here and these are my cards.” Les said, shaking the deck in her face.
“Those aren’t yours.”
“Do you see anybody else holding a deck of cards?”
“Okay, what do you want to play?” She asked.
“I thought you didn’t want to play with me.”
“Stupid, Like I’ve got a choice.” she muttered.
“Hey! Watch it. I’m way better than stupid.” Les whined.
“Not much.” Stephanie got on her knees. “My butt is getting numb.”
“Sit on that.” Les said, handing her a sleeping bag.
“This bag is awfully lumpy.”
“Well unzip it and spread it out a little.”
Stephanie unzipped the bag. She reached in to pull out whatever was causing the lump. Suddently, she jerked out her hand. “Snake! Snake!” she screamed, as she crawled over Les and shoved her way behind him.
Les jumped to his feet and banged the back of his head against the top of the crate. He leaned down and lifted the corner of the sleeping bag and shook it. The coiling slithering shape of a snake fell out. Les screamed and jumped backwards shoving Stephanie back against the side of the crate.
They both froze, watching the snake. When it didn’t move, Les finally crawled back over and poked it.
“Damn, that’s not funny. It’s a rubber snake.” Les swore.
They sat against the wall watching the fake snake. The tires of the truck sang as it picked up speed.
“Les? You think we’ll ever get out of here?”
“What? Of course we will.”
“We’re stuck in here. How are we going to survive? Don’t you ever wonder about stuff?”
“What stuff is that?”
“Oh like, if you were a cannibal what would you eat first?”
Les crawled to the other side of the crate. “Sometimes you scare me. That’s just sick.”
Stephanie started digging thru the bag. “I just realized I’m hungry.” She dragged out a bag of malted milk balls. When she tried to open it, the bag came apart and the milk balls went everywhere.
“Five second rule.” Les said, crawling around chasing the milk balls. “Yuck. That didn’t taste right.” He spit out one he had just bit into. “More like a rat turd.”
“Les.”
“What?”
“How would you know what a rat turd tasted like?”
“Once you tasted one you never forget.”
“I’m going to be sick.” Stephanie squeaked, putting her hands over her mouth.
The crate lurched, knocking them to the floor, as the truck turned off the road and bumped over an uneven surface, before rolling to a stop. A few minutes later, nails squeaked as boards were pried off the top of the crate.
Tank and Bobby looked down into the crate.
“OK. You guys can come out of there now.” Tank grinned.
Steph and Les sat up and glared at their kidnappers.
“We aren’t talking to you.” Les said.
Stephanie crossed her arms over her chest.
“That’s ok. We’ll just celebrate without you.” Tank said. He and Bobbie disappeared.
Steph and Les slowly stood up and peered over the edge of the crate. It was sitting on a flat-bed truck, which was parked on a beach.
The sun was setting over the ocean. A fire was blazing and the majority of Rangeman employees and their families were gathered around. Children yelled and shrieked with laughter, as they ran up and down the beach. Grills sizzled and smoked with steaks and hot dogs. Tubs overflowed with iced beer, water and soda, near benches and tables filled with food. There was a big screen further up the beach playing videos from the Rangeman offices.
Les jumped up and swung his legs out of the crate. He headed for the nearest tub of beer. He had barely settled back in a handy beach chair, when a new video flashed on the screen. The video was of Lester on his knees with his hand on his heart. An audio message followed. “Best April Fool’s Joke ever”. A picture of Ranger, Tank and Bobbie sitting on the floor with their mouths open staring at Les followed. A cheer went up from the crowd on the beach.
Stephanie felt two strong hands lifting her out of the crate. Ranger’s arms encircled her. He lifted her up and carried her toward the fire. She looked up at him and grinned. “You are so in trouble.”
“I know,” he said smiling down at her, “and I so need to be punished.”
Mary Clayton Writing 