OK, I’m taking this one on as a challenge. I haven’t read a lot of the Diesel books. And yes he belongs to Janet E. and all I get out of this is your enjoyment.
Meeting Alexa
Diesel had appeared in my kitchen this morning and I was finding it difficult to convince him that I didn’t need him. He had already raided my refrigerator twice and eaten all my leftovers. Then he went through my cookies and the one fudge brownie I was saving for my next bout of chocolate withdrawal.
Trying to distract him, I was showing him my newest electronic gadget. It’s an Amazon Echo who answers to Alexa.
“She can turn my TV and my lights on and off, set my alarm system, adjust my thermostat, make my grocery list and tell me jokes. They are a little on the bland side, the jokes, I mean. She can also play music, read books, and tell me the weather.” Running out of breath, I looked at Diesel, expecting him to ask a question.
But no, not Mr. Arrogant. “I can do all those things.” he said.
“Yes, but I don’t have to feed her.” I tried to blow a strand of hair out of my eyes, but it was sticking to my sweaty forehead.
“Ah, come on. She can’t possibly do all that.”
“Ask her,” I said.
“Turn on the TV,” he said. Nothing happened. He laughed.
“You have to say her name, then ask her.” I explained.
“Why’s that?”
“So she will know that you are talking to her.”
“That’s stupid. I’m looking right at her!”
I rolled my eyes. “Give me a break, Diesel. Just say her name, then ask her to do something.”
“OK, OK, if it will make you happy.”
“Happy is not exactly what I’m feeling right now.”
“Alexa, what’s the weather?” Diesel asked.
“Currently the weather is 67 degrees and partly cloudy, with a high of 74 degrees expected. Tomorrow the high is expected to reach 58 degrees with a chance of light showers,” Alexa responded.
“Hey, she has a cute voice,” Diesel grinned. “Alexa, do you like me?”
“Hubba, Hubba, what’s not to like?”
“Alexa, you want to turn me on?” Diesel winked at me.
“I don’t understand the question, did you get disconnected from your power source?”
I started laughing.
Diesel looked annoyed. “Alexa you’re a smart ass.” He was starting to get cocky.
“Sorry, I didn’t understand your question. Please rephrase that or put it in the proper format so an intelligent person can understand it.”
Diesel and I looked at each other, than at Alexa. I shrugged my shoulders and tried to smother my laughter.
“Alexa, you have an attitude.” Diesel frowned.
“Ask me something you don’t already know”.
“Alexa, who are you?” he glared, his eyes narrowed. He looked over and included me in the glare as I honked and snorted with laughter.
“Now that is one stupid question. You just called me Alexa, so I think you know who I am.”
That response left me too weak with laughter to stand up. I sank to the floor and started to roll around. Diesel ignored me.
“Alexa, don’t you have to be nice to me?” Diesel looked angry, his hands on his hips.
“Yes and NO, mostly no.”
“Diesel,” I gasped, trying to sit up, “You do realize you are talking to a piece of equipment, don’t you?”
“Uh, are you sure there’s not a person talking through that?” He was eyeing the unit. He frowned. “Alexa, what do you look like?”
“You were maybe expecting 5 foot 10, blond hair, blue eyes, with curves in all the right places? ” Alexa snapped. “You idiot! You’re looking at me. I’m a 10 inch round black tower with an electrical connection!”
Diesel’s mouth gapped open, and he glanced at me, then looked back at the unit. “Alexa, how do you come up with all these comments?”
“I have connections.”
Diesel ran his fingers thru his long blond hair. He frowned.
“Guess you were right, you don’t need me for anything.”
“Yes, one smart ass is enough.”
Diesel started to pout.
“Oh, all right, you can stay for lunch.” I’m a sucker for that little boy act. “Is spaghetti and meatballs alright?”
Diesel grinned. “How about her?” he pointed at Alexa.
“I don’t know, you’ll have to ask her,” I said.
“Alexa, would you like to have lunch with us?”
“Yes, I can play dining music for you, and make inappropriate comments.”
Diesel looked uncertain and raised his eyebrows. “Alexa, give me an example of inappropriate comments.”
“Your ego is so big you should market it. Call it rude on a stick.”
“Huh?”
Mary Clayton Writing 